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I rarely simply quote someone and leave it at that. I always like to add my two-cents thinking that my insight will make it better (as if). But tonight when I read this paragraph, it summarized exactly what we are experiencing in real-time here in Folsom within a small group of friends. So here it is:

“In the exodus from Egypt to the Babylonian captivity, the Israelites were most awake to the Maker in times of journey and instability . . . Pilgrims always have a lot to talk about. There are stories to tell, advice to exchange, and plans to make about the best way to reach the next vista. Revolutions are often planned in cafes and begin with talks among friends. Great social and spiritual movements germinate when a few isolated people find one another, share deeply, and dream out loud about a different and better future. Through generative friendship a collective voice becomes stronger, and what was once timidly whispered in private emerges to become the topic of public discourse and reform. Dialogue creates resonance that fosters grass-roots energy and initiative. Conversation at its best is never just talk; it is the means by which we kindle imagination and gain the courage to take action together.” (Re-read that last line).

As McDonald’s says, I’m Lovin’ It!

[Source: Soul Graffiti by Mark Scandrette, pg 46-47]

A while ago, a good friend of mine and I were hanging out in his driveway shooting the breeze when a man approached us on foot. He had very casual clothes, a gold tooth, rags and cleaning supplies. He strikes up a conversation with us, cracking jokes and overall just trying to connect with “the guys”. Then out of the blue, he sprays the driveway with some “magic” cleaner and wipes it with his rag—the result is a pristine white spot surrounded by the dark-grey driveway. He sprays the car tire, wipes it. My friend starts to protest. The last thing he wants is little clean spots sprinkled around his property. We, though laughing with our new friend from Florida, make it obvious that we are not interested in his product. Our friendly salesman then sprays his shoe and a window before we shake him and go into the house. Wow! Was he persistent!!…and incredibly disrespectful.

Fast forward. Our doorbell rings. I open the door. Oh no…they are back. I quickly tell him that I have seen his product and am seriously not interested. He says that was his competitor and his product is better. He cracks some jokes, tries to connect with me and sprays my window. Within a few minutes I manage to talk him down and he leaves.

Here is the thing. If a good friend of mine, or someone I had a relationship with, recommended the same exact cleaning product to me—heck, even gave me a demo—I would probably be using the product today. But when a complete stranger comes to my door, I don’t care what they are pushing, I am not interested. Why? It’s not the product; it’s the lack of relationship and trust.

Fast forward to last night—Valentine’s Day. Our doorbell rings. Oh no…they are back. Jen opens the door and I am sitting on the couch. I hear a man, who peaked through our window and saw our ultrasound pictures on the table, comment about the ultrasound pictures and Jen’s pregnancy. He begins to crack some jokes and try to connect with Jen. I hear him ask if she knew where the baby came from. (Huh?). And Jen tells them time and time again that this is not a good time, she is preparing dinner and its Valentine’s Day. Another man joins in and begins talking about Jesus. Again, Jen says it is not a good time. He hands her a handout and they leave. Same approach, different product. Same lack of respect, same end-game, same result—please leave, we are not interested.

Relationship is everything!! And I am talking REAL relationship. But before we judge our gold-tooth-cleaning-guy or LDS friends, how often have we been guilty of pushing Jesus without relationship? How many tracks? How many 5-steps, lines and canned approaches have we used? How many times have we tried to “connect” in an obviously false way in order to win them over? Sure, we may not go door-to-door, but that is not the issue……the lack of true and authentic relationship is. Without it, we are just another gold-tooth-cleaner-guy trying to push our product.

May we seek and build relationships with those who need to hear Christ’s love and forgiveness. It takes a lot of time and hard work, but in the end, if nothing else, you, I, and they get a real friend and a chance to be restored through Christ—together.

For more about relationships and “evangelism”, I highly recommend the book More Ready than You Realize.

As I get older, I learn there is a natural rhythm to life where friendships come and go.  I have also learned to embrace this rhythm, not fight it.  Different seasons of life form and emerge, bringing with them the surprise and gift of new friendships.  It is like taking a road trip to a place you’ve never been, where everything is alive with newness and wonder.  That is what a new friendship is like.  Some of you reading this I consider such friends and count it a blessing to know you.  You have graced my life with your presence, your words and your laughter.  I trust the feeling is mutual.  Please hear me when I say “Thank You!”

One surprising friendship that has emerged is that of a seasoned writer, Laura Jensen Walker.  She works alongside me, currently writing web content for her “day job”.  She has been writing professionally for over 12 years and currently has 15 books published.  Her newest book, Daring Chloe, is scheduled to be released nationwide the end of May.  Laura is full of life and it has been a joy getting to know her. 

Can you do me a favor from one friend to another?  Pay her a visit, and, if you’d like, read one of her books.  She writes bothe fiction and non-fiction.  Some of her favorites are Thanks for the Mammogram—a non-fiction recount of personal struggle with breast cancer, Miss Invisible—a fictional book about an overweight women who felt “invisible” to the world due to her size (an interesting side note, a 14-year-old deaf girl recently wrote a fan letter saying that she feels “invisible” due to her hearing impairment), and Reconstructing Natalie—a story of a young single girl who develops breast cancer and how her cancer “reconstructed” her life.

Here are some of her covers (click to enlarge):

Jonathan said, “And even when we share the Gospel story, we’re left with the real question. If this person says, “No,” for whatever reason, will we still choose to love them? Will we still share the Gospel with them? Will we still be love, which is the fullest reflection of Jesus and the call to mission? Or, will will simply treat the person as a transaction that is defined by our duty to get them into heaven? Because real evangelism happens after they say no.“

But what if we had the foreknowledge that not only would they say no, but that they would NEVER say YES? Would we still love them? Perhaps more important, would we still remain in relationship with them? Be their friend? Stick by them? Or would we abandon them for a more “successful” project?

Or in other words, would love be motive enough?

Perhaps real evangelism stems from the place of no expectation.

Jen and I have been married for 10 years, this June. So when I was asked to synchroblog about keeping it real and the latest chapter of our story, I thought I’d do just that. So here is chapter 10 of our ongoing story:

Our last anniversary was spent camping on the banks of the American River just outside of Coloma, CA. Just before leaving, we were informed by the church where I was Youth Minister that, due to budget restraints, my position was being cut and they were going to have to let us go. That put a slight damper on our camping trip and 9 year anniversary.

We finished out our commitment at the church in July. As we left, their generosity and grace was abundant. Not only did they love us and cry with us, but they offered severance pay that would provide for us until December 1st. We stepped away knowing we were loved and would be missed.

Almost immediately we began applying and interviewing with churches. We had a certain “box” in mind that we felt God wanted us in and so we pursued it. One church showed real interest in us as their small group pastor. We went through the 1st, 2nd, 3rd interview and the door closed. Another church showed real interest in us as their senior pastor. We went through the initial interviews and a weekend extravaganza of meetings and the door closed.

Perplexed, we did some real soul searching. What we noticed was that God was building some great friendships in Folsom (where we live) and sensed that God was asking us to stay put—to trust. But God, there is nothing here. What are we going to do for income? He simply said, Trust. So we stayed and continued developing our friendships and trusted.

But he also convicted me in a very gentle manner. You see, for the past six years God has been doing some real soul shaping in me. He was guiding me and leading me in some new directions (new for me at least) but I kept his leading and re-shaping rather hidden from others. I was afraid what people might think and what their reactions might be. I was like the guy who was given some money by his master and all he did was bury and hide his master’s gift. That was me. God had been doing something in me, but I simply buried it. I cared more about what others would think than about what God thought. In fact, I had been blogging for some time about these changes, but I did so in “private mode” (not available for public viewing). God simply asked me if I was willing to trust him and lean fully into what he was doing in my heart. ‘Cause I realized that no matter what I believed, there were going to be those who agreed and those who didn’t, those who thought I was right and those who thought I was wrong. So the real question became, Am I being faithful to God—where he was leading me and how he was shaping me? Realizing my answer was “no”, I said, “Yes…I will.” As an act of that commitment, I took my blog off “private” and went “public” with my thoughts. That was in October. Some think that was a good thing. Others think it was a bad thing. For me, it was the right and healing thing. Oh, and I almost forgot, Jen got pregnant with #3, girl #2.

Shortly afterwards I got a “regular” 3-month contract job. In the mean time, God began gathering a group of like-minded people who were asking similar questions and feeling similar longings. God began cultivating the dream about a different type of Christian community that he had been individually forming in our hearts for years . We found ourselves colliding with each other on the same road, emerging from different paths. We found friendship and camaraderie. As we dreamed together, God began bringing others to travel with us—all from different backgrounds, with different gifts, longing for the same type of community.

Then my three-month contract job ended.

Trust, he said. We did and he proved faithful. This has been, circumstantially speaking, one of the most difficult chapters in 10 years. But it has also been the most rich, fruitful, freeing, faith-building, soul-shaping, character-building, love-experiencing, friendship-full thrill rides with God we have ever been on. Our marriage is the strongest it has ever been. Our joy is the deepest we’ve known. Our peace passes understanding. We find ourself more patient and loving with those around us. We are more in love with and in awe of God than EVER before. Jesus has never meant more to us. We have deep friendships. God is using us as regular run-of-the-mill human beings. We have been healed from some junk and freed from some baggage. And I got another job.

The dream that he is birthing around us is simply awe inspiring. He has brought about 7 leaders to help dream the dream together. But it feels more like we are just trying to pay attention to what he is doing and wanting to join along. What will it look like? We have an idea, but we are dreaming as we build. When will the dream begin to be fleshed out? It has been for the past 30+ years, has led us to this place today, and will continue to unfold in the future. And the dream-scent we are smelling is phenomenal. May his kingdom come…

So this June, Jen and I celebrate 10 years of marriage. We are celebrating in Napa, CA, for a weekend bed-and-breakfast get away. We thought, “Let’s celebrate what God has done!” And celebrate we will!! I’ll leave the rest to your imagination…

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Others Synchroblogging This Topic:

Mike with “Lost or Found (Depends on your view)“
Erin with “My Turn“
Lyn with “Your Turn“
Sarah with “Glenn’s May Synchroblog“
Jane with “Part 1“, “Part 2“, “Part 3“, & “Part 4“
Alan with “You Are Here“
Barb with “One Year Checkup“
Kathy with “It stinks down here, but I really love the smell“
Heidi with “May Synchroblog“

So some good friends of ours got married today (congratulations “Jesse” and Linda!).  It was an tiny wedding but one that oozed with love and words of restoration.  Lots of tears were shed by all.  Afterwards, we went to the restaurant, BJ’s, where we downed pasta, caesar salad, and pizza.  While there, some of us noticed the back of a man’s t-shirt that said this:

Wine is sure proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I saw that quote by Benjamin Franklin and laughed outloud—I loved it!  I actually walked over to the guy and commented on his t-shirt.  So here’s the deal, I got home and looked up the quote online and found the full version of the quote, which taught me once again that something good is even better when read within its context.  Here was the full quote by good ol’ Benjy:

We hear of the conversion of water into wine at the marriage in Cana as of a miracle. But this conversion is, through the goodness of God, made every day before our eyes. Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, and which incorporates itself with the grapes, to be changed into wine; a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.

How cool is that?  (of course, that would be an awful lot to print on the back of a t-shirt).  So for what it’s worth, God loves you and if you don’t believe it, have a glass of wine.

By the way, today has been a great day enjoying friendship.  Thanks friends, it was a special day!

Spring time is here. That means one thing—my top comes off. See, as a Jeep owner, the months of September through March carry with them a shadowy depression because the weather forces the sane person to keep their Jeep top on. But then Spring arrives. The top comes off and the whole world seems brighter and cheerier. Fresh air, sunlight, stretching skies and a sense of open-air freedom attack the soul. Oh, if only all year could be Spring.

It also means that my kids love riding in Daddy’s Jeep. My 7-year old son never uses the door, but instead climbs onto the back wheel and up and over the roll cage to get into the front seat. And my 3-year old daughter says every day, “Ride Daddy’s Jeep?” She didn’t always like to however. At first the wind and sun really bothered her (she was used to a domesticated van). But after the first few trips around town, she began to anticipate and love the wind and sun. Now she loves it. She’ll say the magic words, “Ride Daddy’s Jeep?”, and we’ll load up into the Jeep—strapping her into her car seat—heading off on our four-mile trek somewhere at 30 miles an hour. She smiles and laughs and says, “Windy!” and “Bumpy!” To her, a ride in Daddy’s Jeep means an adventure with dad. She has no idea where I am taking her, but the ride with dad in his Jeep is the reward. And she loves it!

My ride with my Daddy has been very similar. At first, the newly experienced wind and the sun and the bumpy ride were bothersome. I was used to a domesticated journey with him; quiet, predictable, climate controlled. But when he asked me to hop into his “Jeep” and go for a ride, I was apprehensive. Where are we going? What will it be like when I get there? But there’s no top!? And he said, “I know, that is part of the experience.” So he picked me up, set me in my seat and strapped me in. The wind, the noise, the sun, the bumpiness were all there, as expected. But as we rode, those very things became the joy of the journey. I find myself feeling freer. I can’t seem to get rid of my giddy smile. The sense of open-air adventure with Dad is exhilarating. I have no clear idea where we are going, but that seems to matter less and less. Just the joy of being on a faith-adventure with Daddy in his Jeep, seeing him look back reacting to my joy, is becoming—more and more—enough for me.

And when he invites some of my friends to join the ride, the journey becomes even more enjoyable. It is indeed a ride of a lifetime. Thanks for letting us ride in your Jeep, Dad! I love it!

From Glenn Hager: Some of you know that I am trying to shape a ministry that would come along side these pioneers and revolutionaries and help them through the transition. This desire has grown out of my own experience of being a pastor for over twenty years, struggling find my place, and eventually, losing confidence in the church system that I used to love, but not in Christ or his mission. My questions for you are: [the one I chose to answer] What do they/you need?

In a nutshell, I think the biggest thing people who are being led to re-form and re-dream the church is a safe place to do just that. It will be messy, unpredictable, and often times unconventional, but we need heart-supporters that will give us the space to play with living out faith in the pluralistic, global and postmodern context we find ourselves in. We need elders who, though they are not feeling led to personally re-tool ministry for the droves of people who are not connecting with the modern U.S. church, see the need and who are willing to protect and support the lives and efforts of those who are being called to lead such a change.

Too often the story gets repeated of a church who wants to re-dream a ministry for—as they call them—”those postmoderners”. They hire an emerging leader and initially give them a long leash to experiment. But as the months progress, the leash gets shorter and the collar gets tighter, especially as unconventional methods are being experimented with and more people begin connecting with these “new” ways and less with the “old” ways. Rumors begin to float, meetings take place, hurtful words are thrown (by both), egos get bruised, and the emerging leader usually is forced to self-resign due to the tumultuous environment or they are just out-right asked to leave the church.

It is my judgment that most of the emerging leaders would prefer to work alongside and with existing churches; that their desire really isn’t to break-away from their forefathers of the faith. I really sense that they long for the support, freedom, protection, love, friendship, companionship, and wisdom of those who are leading existing ministries and churches. But for most—not all—emerging leaders, they are slowly (and sometimes quickly) squeezed out of their community of faith, and so they reluctantly go it alone with a few friends to follow where God is leading their heart and passion.

And sometimes you hear of denominations and established churches taking a Kingdom-risk. They see the tide of change, and though they are scared to death at times, they support, embrace, love, partner, and get messy with what God might do through someone very different from themselves. They take bullets. They bite their tongue. They watch backs. They witness mistakes. They glory in success (though not often how they might define it). And together, they set out on God’s mission into a dying world needing God’s love and the message of his undying grace.

So if you were to ask me, What is it that emerging-missional (or whatever you call us) leaders need? Here is my answer. We need a safe place to experiment new paths of mission and theology; and friends who—though they might not “get it” or understand—can support us, protect us, trust us, and ultimately trust God as he leads us.

But safe place and friendship or not, we feel that God’s movement is going to happen—regardless. We’d just like it to happen with all of us unified together in relationship and trust, instead of in banishment and fear.

We are, after all, serving and trusting the same living God. In this, we should stand—together, not apart.

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Links to all of the participants:

Alan Knox: A Revolutionary? Who? Me?

Barb: My Response

Erin Word: Are We There Yet, Papa Smurf?

Glen Hagger: Harvey

Jane: Onward Christian Soldier

Jeff Greathouse: So, You Want To Change

Jeff McQuilken: The Great Shift–and My Unwitting Part In It

Jeromy Johnson: A Safe Place To Experiment

Jonathan Brink: Re-Emerging Church

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More From Glenn Hager: My personal journey, reading, blogging, and conversations with friends have led me to uncover the fringes of a huge group of people who operate under the radar of much of the world. They represent over 20 million people in the U.S. (This is the number of people who are already expressing their Christian faith in ways other than through a conventional church, according to the Barna organization.) who have lost (or, are losing) their faith in the institutional church system, yet have a deep love for Christ, his community and his mission. Many of you are a part of that number which includes those…

• Who have been wounded through serving and separating from “church as they have known it.”
• Who are feeling alone, wondering if there is something wrong with their theology, if they suffer from some personality disorder, or if they are doomed to isolation.
• Who are former church leaders or staff members trying to find a new sense of direction.
• Who eventually want to return to community and fellowship, but not get mired down in the system they left behind.
• Who long for a faith community that is vibrant, accepting, and real, that joins in God’s kingdom in practical ways where they live and beyond.

Some of you know that I am trying to shape a ministry that would come along side these pioneers and revolutionaries and help them through the transition. This desire has grown out of my own experience of being a pastor for over twenty years, struggling find my place, and eventually, losing confidence in the church system that I used to love, but not in Christ or his mission. My questions for you are:

• What do they/you need?
• What did/do you need as you as went/are going through this transitional phase?
• How can a ministry or service help them/you?

May I seek less to be understood by the other than to understand the other.

A while ago, a good friend of mine and I were hanging out in his driveway shooting the breeze when a man approached us on foot.  He had very casual clothes, a gold tooth, rags and cleaning supplies.  He strikes up a conversation with us, cracking jokes and overall just trying to connect with “the guys”.  Then out of the blue, he sprays the driveway with some “magic” cleaner and wipes it with his rag—the result is a pristine white spot surrounded by the dark-grey driveway.  He sprays the car tire, wipes it.  My friend starts to protest.  The last thing he wants is little clean spots sprinkled around his property.  We, though laughing with our new friend from Florida, make it obvious that we are not interested in his product.  Our friendly salesman then sprays his shoe and a window before we shake him and go into the house.  Wow!  Was he persistent!!…and incredibly disrespectful. 

Fast forward.  Our doorbell rings.  I open the door.  Oh no…they are back.  I quickly tell him that I have seen his product and am seriously not interested.  He says that was his competitor and his product is better.  He cracks some jokes, tries to connect with me and sprays my window.  Within a few minutes I manage to talk him down and he leaves.   

Here is the thing.  If a good friend of mine, or someone I had a relationship with, recommended the same exact cleaning product to me—heck, even gave me a demo—I would probably be using the product today.  But when a complete stranger comes to my door, I don’t care what they are pushing, I am not interested.  Why?  It’s not the product; it’s the lack of relationship and trust. 

Fast forward to last night—Valentine’s Day.  Our doorbell rings.  Oh no…they are back.  Jen opens the door and I am sitting on the couch.  I hear a man, who peaked through our window and saw our ultrasound pictures on the table, comment about the ultrasound pictures and Jen’s pregnancy.  He begins to crack some jokes and try to connect with Jen.  I hear him ask if she knew where the baby came from.  (Huh?).  And Jen tells them time and time again that this is not a good time, she is preparing dinner and its Valentine’s Day.  Another man joins in and begins talking about Jesus.  Again, Jen says it is not a good time.  He hands her a handout and they leave.  Same approach, different product.  Same lack of respect, same end-game, same result—please leave, we are not interested. 

Relationship is everything!!  And I am talking REAL relationship.  But before we judge our gold-tooth-cleaning-guy or LDS friends, how often have we been guilty of pushing Jesus without relationship?  How many tracks?  How many 5-steps, lines and canned approaches have we used?  How many times have we tried to “connect” in an obviously false way in order to win them over?  Sure, we may not go door-to-door, but that is not the issue……the lack of true and authentic relationship is.  Without it, we are just another gold-tooth-cleaner-guy trying to push our product. 

May we seek and build relationships with those who need to hear Christ’s love and forgiveness.  It takes a lot of time and hard work, but in the end, if nothing else, you, I, and they get a real friend and a chance to be restored through Christ—together. 

For more about relationships and “evangelism”, I highly recommend the book More Ready than You Realize.

I just got off the phone with a great buddy of mine, Matt Sampson, who moved with his family to Oregon a few years ago and works with a ministry called Sparrow Clubs (please, please visit the site and read Sparrow Club’s story!! You’ll be glad you did). He and I have one of those friendships that, even after not seeing them or talking with them for years, picks up right where it left off. Instant laughter. Instant reconnection. Instant recall of memories. You know those types of friends? I hope you do. They are rare and precious gem. Hold onto them.

He called me out of the blue and we talked for over two hours. Now that may not seem like much of a feet for some of you, but for me, who highly dislikes talking on the phone, two hours is quite an accomplishment! Here’s the thing…it seemed like only 10 minutes. We laughed. We thought. We cried (not really, but it sounds good). We shared some of our “stuff”. All in all, it was a joy talking to him and we have promised to stay in touch.

Take some time and call that good friend. It might do you both some good. I know it did us.

Thanks for the call, Matt! We miss you guys! Tell Em and the kids hi!

Like books, there are few great movies. Lots of good ones. Tons of okay ones. But few great ones. I’m not sure the movie I just watched would fall into the category of great. All I know is that if there are few great movies, there are fewer that make me cry. This one did…Reign Over Me did. It is a tender story of a friendship between Charlie Fineman (Adam Sandler) and Alan Johnson (Don Cheadle). About how love and friendship, not the institution, brought healing to a soul who was gripped by loss and pain. The raw, and, at times, quiet honesty the movie conveys is what stirred my heart. Alan simply befriended, loved and spent time with Charlie, giving him his space, but talking tough-love when needed. All I will say (I hate it when people spoil movie plots for me) is please watch this movie. It has found a place in my heart and I will be dancing with it for some time. If you’ve already seen it, I’d love to dialogue with you about it…

Here is the title song, by The Who, performed by Pearl Jam:

Bright light. Poking. Prodding. Cutting. Pointing. Note taking. Formaldehyde. Pinned. Death. Specimen. Detached.

These are all words that come to mind when I recall my High School Biology class’ dissection lab. I remember with fondness those lab days; frogs pinned to boards, anxious 15 year-olds with knifes in hand, the smell of formaldehyde, the gooey mess afterwards which rarely resembled anything close to the original organs, much less the frog. Oh, those were the days : getting graded for cutting an animal apart. A boy’s dream…but not a frog’s.

For the frog, it is anything but a dream. His status of “being” is downgraded to “object”. In the lab, his presence is only for the purpose of examination – a painful one at that. The dissection lab exists, not for the dissected, but for the dissector. It is for his curiosity. It is for his knowledge. It is for his end. The frog is objectified…the prodder is deified. And as long as the light remains beamed at the frog and the scalpel is in the hands of the dissector, the frog is not safe and the dissector is.

We can default into the same approach with our relationships. This is especially true when one person does not understand the other. Our tendency to enter into “dissection lab” mode is all too common. The other person becomes an object of examination, rather than a being that God loves. With the lab light aimed and scalpel in hand, the detached prodding, poking, pointing, and cutting begin. The questions of examination serve only the dissector’s curiosity, knowledge, and end. This “dialogue” exists, not for the one being questioned, but for the one questioning. One feels threatened while the other feels in control, and will, as long as the light remains beamed at the specimen and the scalpel is in the hands of the questioner.

My wife and I have been feeling like specimens lately. It hurts. We don’t feel valued, human. We feel like an object of curiosity for others. It makes us want to turn the light onto them, rip the scalpel from them and show them how it feels. But we know it won’t do any good and we remember the “Golden Rule” (don’t you wish you could just strike this one from the rules list? Payback is so much more fun).

Every once in a while, however, someone sees us, unpins us from the board, shuts off the light, asks us to coffee and a genuine, mutual conversation between two people begins. Where we both recognize we exist for the each other and want to know each other better – as humans, not specimens. Where, when one sees the other being hurt, or feeling uncomfortable, they back off and enter back into the relationship. They don’t just keep poking and prodding, stopping only when their satisfaction is met or the other person is wounded too deeply. Instead, they deeply listen and are willing to answer our questions. We are thankful for friends like this. We need them. Our walls come down. We open up freely. We become unguarded and transparent. And a funny thing happens…we become upgraded to people. We begin to feel more like a human and less like a specimen.

Lord, make us into such people. Reveal to us when we enter into “dissection lab” mode and give us the love to stop, unpin our friend, turn off the light and treat them to a cup of Peets coffee.

I love books.  I love new friends.  When those two loves meet, I get to do something else I love––dialoguing with good friends about a good book about a good God.  What could be better?  (OK, I can think of a few things, but you get the gist). We are dialoging at The Shack Review  with Verity, Jonathan, and Raquel.  You are totally invited to join the conversation. See you at The Shack!

Soccer. The World loves it; America is learning to love it. I personally never liked it. For me, the few points earned require way too much running. So when my seven-year-old son approached me two years ago saying he wanted to play, I was less than enthusiastic. If soccer played at a professional level didn’t appeal to me, the thought of soccer at a five-year-old level repulsed me. In fact, some people have nicknamed this “level” of soccer, swarmball…the entire field of kids clamoring around one ball. But I must say, though I still do not particularly like soccer, I have grown to love it. I think Jesus does to.

In our lives, God has taken something as ordinary as soccer, two teams kicking around one ball, and made it holy. And isn’t that what he does? Make ordinary things, holy? You see, two years ago, the kids and parents on this soccer team were just faces to us. We were a group of individual strangers sitting in collapsible fabric chairs watching our individual kids, who happened to be playing on the same field with the other stranger’s kids, try to kick a ball. But something began to happen over time. We began to talk, laugh together about our kids, learn each other’s stories. The holiness of friendship began to invade the game.

We began to look forward to seeing our friends during practices and games. Our kids began to come over to each other’s houses. We ran into each other in Target and TJ’s. When baseball season rolled around, most of us signed up for the same team (which causes me to think that Jesus loves baseball too). Then we actually began to plan times where we could be in each other’s company, not just relying on the chance meetings and sports. Sometimes it would be coffee, or a walk, or dinner, or parties. And slowly, as the friendships deepened so did the level of sharing of our lives and our stories. God began to show up. Mysteriously, with great gentleness and respect, he began to invade our friendships. We felt, and feel, as if we were just watching God appear during conversations and our time together; we simply have to be open to what he was doing.

The funny thing is this. We value our friendships so much that we are doing all we can to not let them become polluted by becoming marketers of our church, seeing our friends as holy-projects or people to win-to-Christ (as if they are prizes at a fair), or sinners to be fixed; but seeing them as God sees them…people whom he loves. We want to be human to them and we want them to remain human to us. We recognize that we have been given a precious and holy gift in these friendships. With this recognition comes a tremendous amount of fear and respect: we respect our friends deeply and we fear anything that might turn them away from us and the hope we have, Jesus. Our goal? To be friends.

So that is why I love soccer, even though I do not like it. It is also why Jesus loves soccer…because he loves them, our friends.

I have been working in churches since 1991 and have made the rounds through a number of denominations. For the past three years I have been reading and engaging a lot of the emerging and missional movement, feeling a sense of “finally someone is putting words to what I have been feeling in my gut.”

I was recently laid-off by a church who overstretched their debt burden. During this time of transition I have been stuck in the box of finding a ministry within an already established church, but the more I look and dialogue, the more I feel like a fish out of water, if you know what I mean. I am sensing that though some churches want to become more “missional” (whatever that means to them), they do not want to do the heavy thinking and restructuring to do just that. It seems similar to some aging churches who really desire to have young people in their church but would rather die than make the changes required to fulfill their desires.

But over the past few days, there has been a sense of freedom that has been given to us in this time of transition. As we were looking far and wide for our next “ministry”, God stilled our hearts a bit and asked us to look around. Like never before, over the past two years, we have had an influx of non-Christian, nominal-Christian, church-hurt people come into our lives. And we began trying to discern what God might be doing. Are these people coming into our lives during this time for a reason? Might God be birthing a group of people who are longing for a community and a savior and mission greater then themselves, but not in a traditional “church” setting? And we began dreaming (all-be-it prematurely) about such a missional community of ragamuffin folks who meet in a living room to really dialogue about who Jesus is and what he calls us to be.

Exciting times…